Sunday, April 2, 2017

Ranting Page Inaugural Post

Heyyy! I'll be soooo back to blogging. You can really learn nothing about this blog. I'll just rant away all my troubles and frustrations in this page. I have so many acquaintances, you know, but few true and real friends. I don't talk that much to people because they don't have to be bothered by all my troubles. I have so many concerns with my life. I know, few read blogs. So I guess this is the safest place to raaaant. My twitter page starting to get crowded so I can't rant there anymore. I'll just post the link on my twitter instead!

Welcome dear! You, who happened to be unlucky enough to click the link. Hahaha. Stay tuned for my life and people updates. This will exactly be my thoughts. Happy reading! or not. hahah

Saturday, February 14, 2015

i need to air out!

People have their own ways in spending their money. i spend mine on food. i dom't starve myself. i need it in order to function and study well. Does it sound unnecessary spending to you? well that depends on your perspective. You say it is unnecessary because what may be important to you is your clothes. You're urge and necessity to have new and stylish clothes. 
I spend my money on food because I don't mind spending it mostly on food. i don't mind if i only have a pair of shoes, 5 sets of unnecessary stylish clothes which i even rarely use. The difference between you and is i don't social climb. I don't mind looking poor among my friends, because i can live with it. i am not materialistic as you are. And even if i love some material stuff, it is for my convenience. So the issue of what is necessary and unnecessary spending is too one sided.

And you know what? You don't spend a single centavo on my education. You don't spend a single centavo on what i eat. In fact, what you eat and what you're family eat comes from my father's efforts. So i am only accountable to my parents and not to you. I don't mind on what you spend on because i would presume that your family has the capacity to spend for that exorbitant expenditure of yours. I really don't mind and i really don't care. But you know? i don't get why you would raise every issue and point out evert flaw and exude negativity on whatever i do. I share my blessings with you and this is what you do?

I am kind enough to take care of you as my close kin but I too cannot stand it if everything i do is wrong in your eyes. What's worse is why would you ruin my name in my very family? i did not hate you and i have nothing against you. but you disrespected me. I forgave you, i once again talked to you but you again disrespected me. I cannot move because i do not know what to do just to make you shut up. but i think that's a hopeless case. 

My patience is at its limit. You really irritate me but you serve as my motivation. Not only you but all of those on your side. All those who believed in your words. Yes, because you're good at that - making people walk in your palms in contrast to my silence and indifference which is often misconstrued. Even my silence now is construed as retaliation, which is not! i just stopped relying. That's all. You can have all the assistance and all the success. I don't mind! I'll pave my own path to success and that's for sure.

i have more to say but for now this will do! grrrr. 

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

The 6-month Agony

I have been asked to write my first experiences as a law student. And since then, I have been planning to write about it. But I never had time to write about it in the middle of my semester because law school already swallowed me alive.

I decided to go to University of Santo Tomas Faculty of Civil law. I was admitted in the Faculty's most prominent section where all graduates with latin honors are clumped together.
UST Faculty of Civil Law - 1A
We all met even before formal classes start. And to my surprise, everyone was already studying in advance whilst I indulge myself in dramas and anime like there's no tomorrow. But because of my paranoia of getting left behind, I also bought copies of reviewers and various kinds of materials from every su
bject. It seems like my classmates were scared as hell, so I was pressured to obtain review materials. I managed to read the preliminary title of the Civil Code a week before classes start, but that was all, and finally decided to enjoy my last few days as a normal human being.

Everything came in a surprise. I was a Political Science student but I didn't expect to read this much. We also have lots of readings in college but not this much. I was shocked with the number of pages in the annotations and numbers of cases to read, memorize provisions and recite.

Readings for Prelims
 When we were first given a pile of cases to read and chapters on annotations, I thought it was almost impossible. I've read so much books since high school but I never expected to read them in one night or in every free time I have. And for your information, free time is that moment when I am not eating, sleeping or in class.

The whole semester is a battle between what I've read and the professor. Everyday is recitation day! I read the whole night, studied in the morning and cram every word in my brain until that very last minute and stop when the professor calls your name.
Sometimes, you just want to give up
(Rona. Peace! Lablab haha)

Once the professor starts shuffling the class cards, there is silence, no one dares to breathe. I don't know what my other classmates do, but I pray not to be called or to be called on topics I know or even if called at the most unfortunate moment, I would be able to answer a thing or two, or not to humiliate myself. Once the batch of chosen ones is complete, you will hear long sighs of relief.
When sleep knocks, sleep. XD

Some recitations last for 45 minutes to an hour or you can stand for the 2 hour period. Professors sometimes ask very long questions or very tricky questions, or provisions that I have not memorized or cases I haven't read. Humiliation is common. Sometimes, out of fear, the mind goes blank, or because of the lengthy question, I forget the premise or some facts. I was once a victim of these unlucky events, like being asked to recite on a case you have not read despite reading all other cases. Sometimes, due to the number of cased and almost similar facts, you end up shuffling them. In other words, you end up not knowing which case is which. I even ended up making up my own facts because of the fear of answering nothing, but I ended up humiliating myself even more.
Caught in the Act of Cramming

Your mood after recitation will depend on how great you are or how you sucked on recitation. But sometimes, just getting through a recitation could bring you great relief, no matter how much you screwed it. The fact that the class is over and that you could finally sleep defeats the idea that you think you will not make it alive after recitation. Every after class just makes you want to eat something good, chat and laugh with good friends, drink a cup of coffee on your own whim and sleep to your heart's content. You could dream on, but this is not entirely possible. After class means you need to prepare for the next subject - sometimes, an even tougher subject. You cannot dilly-dally in eating. You have to maximize time as much as possible.

I never realized until then how much time I had back in college. I cannot even rest without guilt on my precious weekends. I recover the sleep I lost on Saturday afternoon after my Criminal law 1 class. At night when I don't have any appointment with friends, I quench my thirst for social network because my mind goes blank and it doesn't want to do anything. But of course, guilt pops in, I ignore them all and start panicking on Sunday night and mourn over the time i wasted on sleeping and chatting. Sundays are for household chores, and I try to do them all before lunch for me to start studying for my lessons the next week. When laundry is not yet necessary, which within 2-3 weeks after my last laundry, i just run away. I bring all my study materials to my friend's place or in a coffee shop and stay there till evening. And that's the moment when I start panicking.

Exam is the most awesome of them all. Why? Because when that moment comes, I forget how to study. Rather, I do not know how to study anymore. I don't know how I'm going to study everything. I can stare at them all day but I cannot read them all. My mind starts panicking and I end up studying bits and tiny pieces of everything, trust my stored knowledge on the day of the exam, and ask an almost impossible prayer to God that I would somehow pass the exams. I still have to find out how to study during exams because cramming won't work in law school. Which is a big adjustment for me because I'm a great crammer ever since.

 After exams, I prefer not to talk anything about it. In fact, I'd like to pretend that I did not take it. I don't like hearing others' answers and get sulky after realizing I was wrong or I answered differently than the others. I get depressed and distracted easily so I'd rather not talk. I go straight home, study for the next exams.

I managed to pass all my prelim exams somehow. It's not that high as my other overly academically proficient classmates but I am very thankful that I passed all of them, even those subjects I thought I flunked. I don't know how these happened since I was not able to study well due to my father's presence. So I really do not know if I should give an advice on that because I myself don't know how i passed despite that half-baked studying.

Final exams was a bit unlucky for me though because at the most unfortunate time, I got sick. The half-baked studying became 1/4 or maybe less and I do not know if I could pass any of those subjects. We have a month vacation before the second semester ends but here we are, waiting in agony for the final grade and find out whether we maintain the scholarship, be on probation or debarred.

There goes the repetitive and nerve-wracking six months of my life which might drag on to unknown years but hopefully i could get it in 4. But think positive! I have one semester down!
Wishing happy law school years with this class. :)

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Senior Political Science Student Participates AYERA

Katherine Rose F. Kapunan, a senior AB Political Science student of West Visayas State University was accepted to participate in the ASEAN Youth Exchange Program held in Bangkok, Thailand on May 15-25, 2013.

The ASEAN Youth Exchange Program entitled “The ASEAN Youth and the Evolving Regional Architecture” is organized by ASEAN Studies Centre of Chulalongkorn University. It provides a platform for 150 students from ASEAN member countries to learn about ASEAN in areas related to three intertwined pillars – Political-security, economic and socio cultural pillars through various activities by Chulalongkorn University.

The ASEAN Youth Exchange Program aims to promote greater awareness about the establishment of the ASEAN Community and enhance the participation as well as integration of the ASEAN Youth to achieve the goal of ASEAN as “One Vision, One Identity, One Community” in order to ensure genuine people centered, durable peace and shared prosperity of the region.

The said program included workshops:

 Media Production
Focus: Video Production & Photography
 Journalism
Focus: Feature News & Article Writing
 Arts & Acting
Focus: Play
 Advocacy
Focus: Volunteer Leadership & Peace Workshop, discussion groups, socio-cultural gatherings, and excursion trips.

Discussion group topics included:

Education for sustainable development
Role of media to enhance mutual understanding and a sense of community
Sexual and Reproductive Health
Engagement with the community

The participating youths also shared their culture and talents in the ASEAN night, and learned in excursion trips provided by the program. Kapunan and her partner Jerome Aligora from University of the Philippines received cheers as they danced Binasuan, a challenging Philippine folkdance.

Kapunan went with 17 other representatives from University of the Philippines, De La Salle University, Ateneo de Manila University and Philippine Normal University.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

It's not about me

I now came to the point that I want to know myself better. Questions like. "Why am I here? What I am here for? What is the reason of me being here? Who am I really?

I thought of these things because I'm already feeling worthless. It's maybe because of the many disappointments and frustrations I am now having. And I also think I am trudging the wrong path.

I want to find myself. Know my self a little more. Find my purpose. Set my mind on track.

Day 1 of Purpose Driven life says that it's not about me. It's all about God and that everything emanates from Him. I will not find my purpose I only consider myself. I cannot answer anything I ask, only my Creator can do so.


I would be a hypocrite if I tell something I cannot do. I cannot change in an instant. I am not that spiritual, religious, or faithful. But I am of course trying to reach out and go back to Him.

I start to realize how wrong I am being self-centered and never putting God as the center of my life. Yes, I call for God, but I only do so when I am only in misery. Which is not good. I know it is wrong, but something inside also tells it's okay.

Then how will I change this mindset? For now, I don't know. Maybe pray that I will soon realize that everything is not about me, and realize that my very existence is for God, and that He has his own way of making me come back to Him. He knows very well what I am designed for.

Entrusting everything to Him might be the way. :)