Happy Feb 14th

I can't help but smile observing guys do their romantic gestures on this day. The school was really filled with love on valentines day. Girls having flowers, balloons and bears walking around the school. I somehow felt a pang of envy as I see the efforts shown before my eyes. The worst case was i actually felt a slight remorse on breaking up with my ex. (I hope no relative of mine reads this.) But it was okay. I also came back to my notion that he's the reason why I don't have a boyfriend. It means, that experience made me realize that I actually wanted to be single.

The envy I feel is maybe because people close to me are actually having their love life and I am left alone having none. I do not want to feel alone which is why I also felt a desire to fall in love again and be in a relationship. But I wouldn't do that again. I want to fall in love naturally, be in a relationship when the time comes and be free of the chains of peer pressure. If my friends will eventually have relationships before I do, I will still be there for them, and wait for my own perfect moment. I will not repeat the same mistake I did when I was in high school. I'm not saying it's a complete mistake. I actually fell in love, but maybe it was too soon.

So Happy Valentines for now. Till the next hearts day.